You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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