You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
