would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
