You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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