And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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