I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I will die if light touches me.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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