Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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