I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Farmville is her only friend.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
