piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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