My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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