I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
