she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
