Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
