i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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