Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize