Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize