Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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