1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
