so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
