Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
