The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
