I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize