I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
