She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
