So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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