So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
