i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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