Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
