it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize