Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
