Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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