You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
