I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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