WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
