An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
