Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
