Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
return my video game
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
