Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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