i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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