You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
