During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
