You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
