Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Are we still banned from the library?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
