I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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