C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
