it hurts more in the daytime
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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