Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
