Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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