Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
