just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
