i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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