Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's never too late to be topless.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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