My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
