So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
