Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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