Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
