Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
