Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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