margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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