Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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