Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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