dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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