I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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