He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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