Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i came on her dog
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
