You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
