yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
